Those Days!!!

Those Drafters and Bombers...

and those days in Comp lab...

and those long walks at 3am from the lab to the hostels...

and those midnight teas with "fresh" patties at the Zopdi...

and those waits for the bus to go to Ponda for dinner...

and those brainwashing discussion with Ku...

and those fodofying sessions of Sumegh's and Sid's and Pai's...

and Vazeddo Amit getting linked to M.M. somehow...

and Petu coming with that TM 'Baba Aan Chedyecha"...

and those Sonias of the class with those perennially completed assignments...

and those Bapats siting in VJ’s classes...

and those KV Madhavs and their mysteriously missing IT papers...

and those Rukhsanas... aaahhhhhh.......

and those strikes which were only planned but never executed...

and those “water days”...

and those Prataps getting attendance in the ALC class for being from Vasco...

and those Happenings and Rock Shows...

and those, those days in GEC!!!!!

Man I too miss my college!!!!!

The Choice...

Consider a “Tree” (you may either consider a natural tree or a computer science tree). Imagine that you are at the root and your mission is to reach the leaf (Def in Computer Science: Leaf nodes: Nodes at the end of the tree). There are a lot of branches you could take to reach a leaf. Once you go with a branch, you cannot come back. So, the branch you take at each stage will determine your end leaf. This leaf would have been totally different if you had opted for some other branch. The significance of the difference would be much more if you would have made a different choice right at the start of your mission.

Our Damu sometime wonders how different his life would have been had he done  some things differently. He listened to his parents, studied hard, always topped in the class, went to college, got a job and managed to earn his first Rupee at the age of twenty two. Had he not studied as hard and had dropped out of the school after seventh class like his good friend Kashinath, he would have been a Lakhpati by twenty two, just like Kashinath. Kashinath, after gaining the wisdom till seventh grade, had taken up the responsibility of being a bus conductor (which incidentally was Damu’s dream job), had later bought two second-hand buses, and today owns an entire fleet of seven brand new buses.

The thought of not being a Lakhpati because of wrong choice leaves Damu downhearted. However he is not the one who likes being in the dejected state for long. He thinks of all the comforts he has in the current job and feels relieved at how easy it was all this while. His inability to answer the questions, “tell me something about yourself/ what are your five strengths & weaknesses/ where do you see yourself five years from now/ etc etc” during the Verizon interview of college placements gave him an opportunity to understand that this world uses are some basic and irrational questions to judge an individual’s ability during an interview. With this sapience, his task of proving himself was cut short. He just had to prepare for around twenty seven questions listed on www.interviewquestions.com and answer the interview. And voila, just the second interview of his life and he got selected in an IT service company, one of the best in India, and arguably the most ethical and value based company in the world. After working for three long years, learning the best programming processes, knowing the importance of personal grooming, being promoted once, with a MVP awards, three successful on-sight assignments, Damu had made a decision of joining a B-school. The two years at the school were packed with all sorts of management gyan or Business101. He wanted to apply all his knowledge. Damu had been selected in a MNC for consultancy profile but he wasn’t sure if that was a job he wanted. He wanted something different; he could feel there is a bigger opportunity lying just on the other side of the road. And one day he decides to cross the road.

Damu has made yet another choice which would lead him to a totally different fate. He has decided reject his campus offer. He has decided to start his own venture. He wants to start “Moto-Pilot Pvt. Ltd.” With this he dreams of spreading the Goa special concept of motorcycle-pilot throughout the country. With the kind of business plan he has, he feels Moto-Pilot would be the most successful start-up in the country.

He wonders however; how his and Kashinath’s paths, which he thought were based on totally different choices, have led them to very similar leaves.

Disclaimer: The inspiration for this topic comes from the movie “The Butterfly Effect”. The movie talks about how a person’s life is shaped by the events that happen in his life, and how dramatically different ones life would have been if some other events would have happened instead.

Ignorance is Bliss!!!

The other day I saw a documentary on Discovery about India. I watch Discovery; but only when they don't show India. I somehow feel the Discovery guys firmly believe that we still charm the snakes and use elephants to commute. Even if someone tells them that India has advanced; they would surely feel our elephants now have side indicators which blinks when it takes a turn.

Discovery seems to have a background score associated with each country. For India it is the Sitar punctuated with Tabla. Do they really believe we play only that?? Sorry sorry... they don't... they actually think we can also play the flute. Mr. Rahman, after you finish reading this, please compose some new numbers, especially for the Discovery(India) shows.

They somehow come to know that we are good in IT, and then there is no stopping them to show how the new IT generation earns more than their parents' retirement salary. They also don't miss to point out that this salary that Indian IT generation earns is at least ten times less than their counterpart in the west. This is to show the gap between us and them. To prove their point they head to the Destination 'IT' or in other words 'Infosys Technologies' in Bangalore. Sitting with half a dozen Infoscions, the host of the show, who happens to be of Indian origin, starts his questions in his weird accent. Probably he has tailored his western accent specially for his Indian guests. The questions are framed tactfully to elicit answers like "...now I can buy the refrigerator which my Mom always wanted" or "I get respect in the society, they look up to me", and so on... In between the Q and A session the camera wanders across different places; right from the Burgers and Pastas in Infoscions' plates to the 'Sunil Tea Shop' outside Infy on Hosur road; from the architecturally innovative Infosys buildings to the slum-like areas in Electronic City. Infosys caterers do serve Indian food, and a variety of it. I cant call it good but it is definitely better than the burger. Probably forcing the Infoscions in the frame to eat western food suits him to bring out the contrast better.

Our host then moves to Pune, asking about the 123 agreement to the locals. I still couldn't figure out why, but he does. Probably to test their knowledge.. or rather the lack of it. But the locals being from the land of the great Maratha's, refuse to bow down. To the credit of Puneits, they knew that the 123 has something to do with nuclear technology and thanks to the 1998 Pokhran tests, the word 'nuclear' is directly related to bombs. With this kind of correlations the answers were obvious, like some Patil said, "There are a lot of anti social individuals moving freely in the country. What if one of them gets hold of this nuclear technology and creates atomic bombs out of it? India should not sign 123 agreement". Our host is happy. He has completed his assignment. He starts his conclusion about his journey in India and concludes it with a statement:
"Ignorance is Bliss!!!"

and there she was....

It was 11:45 pm. I woke up. I couldn't talk, I couldn't see, I couldn't walk, only thing I knew was to cry and exactly the same I did. Probably I was hungry, probably I was not, I don't remember. A three-day-old doesn't have a great memory, right? I was crying. and there she was, with a smile, ready to placate me.

It was 11:45 pm again. I was nervous, I was scared, I was feeling lonely at my table in the light of the table lamp. It was my board exam. First paper staring at me, just two days away. I dint know what to do. And there she was at the door with a glass of Bournvita and all the support that I needed.

It was 11:45 pm that day. I was moving to Mysore. I was excited. My first job. I dint know what to pack and what not. Clothes went in and came out of my old suitcase. I wanted to carry a lot but didn't have enough space. I thought of taking the most important things only, so, no space for Ma's rava-laddoo. I dint know how to manage. And there she was, this time with a couple of tears in her eyes and a new trolley bag in her hand.

It was 11:45 pm today. Taare Zameen Par had just got over. The song Maa had welled me. The only thing that was on my mind was to run to Ma, hug her and cry. And there she was, this time on the call. And I cried!!! The only thing I could say was "Tujhe sab hai pata, hai na Maa.... meri Maa...."

Cigarette: Kills Human or Saves Humanity

“Cigarette smoking is injurious to health” So what??? Look at all positives it offers, not only to an individual but to our society and the mankind as a whole.

Lets start from micro economics. Mr Chandru, a street side cigarette vendor, tells that he makes a pure profit of around Rs. 5000 per month just by selling cigarettes. There are also side-products that go best with the fags, tea being the most common, which benefits the tea industry and a billion people associated with it directly or indirectly and of course Mr. Chandru. And think of all those philanthropist who give free smoke to all the non-smokers by paying and burning their own lungs. The non-smoker category may include infants, school children, pregnant women etc who get the smoke and along with that around 4000 chemicals absolutely FREE. And they say Cigarette smoking is injurious to health.

Lets go to a slightly bigger arena. Cigarettes play a very important role in country's development. Ever heard of excise duties? Cigarettes contribute to around 10% of the total excise taxes. Now thats a huge amount. Also look at the employment opportunities it provides. Right from the fields where the tobacco is grown, to the cigarette producers like ITC, Godfrey Phillips etc; from the ad companies, who make the pseudo ads for cigarette brands, to the streetside shopkeepers like our own Mr. Chandru. And what about the children? Mr. Chandru employs two 9 year olds to help him run his business. The same would be the case at each stage of the product development and distribution. Its fun time for the kids who are a part of this chain. They don't have to go to school, so no studies. They earn money and can do what they want to do. In a way they are Independent, isnt it what we fought for during the first half of twentieth century? What if it has a bad effect on their health? What if they don't make it big in their life like Dr Kalam or Mrs Gandhi ? Its a small price to pay to make India the largest producer and exporter of tobacco. Now, don't you agree Cigarettes are important to keep the India going?

Lets come to national unity? During the independence, India was divided in states based on linguistic grounds to avoid conflicts. But man is such a genius that he can find thousand reasons to fight; religion, rivers, financial status, quota in higher education, are just to name a few. Have you ever seen people fight over cigarette? No. Because you don't have to. Thats the kind of power it has. A few weeks back there were a lot of heated discussions between friends from east and from west. The topic was of national interest, "Sachin In, Dada Out!!". But amidst the hostile exchange of words, only one other thing was shared amicably, 'Thee Cigarette'!!! Even Einstein would have been proud of this Grand Unifying Force.
So often I have seen an IT professional, a road side worker and a Benz owner buy a Cigarette from Mr. Chandru. And when there aren't sufficient matchsticks for everyone, they use other's Cigarette to light their own. The sight is no less than lighting of candles in "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara". Isn't that great? Financial status no bar, caste no bar, religion no bar, age no bar. Now thats for me is "Unity In Diversity"!!!

Not only in social life, but the Cigarette plays a pivotal role in the education system as well. Its the order to get a Cigarette which breaks the ice between a fresher and the seniors. Cigarette is, arguably, the best style statement available in college to impress the beauties. And how can anyone forget that day, that special day... that day before the exam when you don't find the syllabus! Tension all over. Its the Cigarette, and the nicotine present in it, who comes to the rescue by relieving all the tension and making you believe that you are never alone even if you are alone when you have your Cigarette with you. It does make you dependent and reduces you tolerance but its fine...

So you would agree that cigarette is the source of eternal happiness, not only for you, but for all around you. Its time to stop banning Cigarette and tobacco and focus on more important and community saving issues like "Should Smirti Irani be back as Tulsi?". We are the ones who can bring her back. Cigarette smoking is injurious to health, well thats just a crap.


-- The author is a well established non-smoker and has ulterior motives in the above piece of writing.