Ready, Steady... Change!!!

 Everyone is talking about reforms and changing the system. Its easy to do so ( I mean the talking,  not the reforms). It doest not cost more than some joules of energy. So here goes my prioritised list....

Change # 54: Ban dupatta in Goa.

Around fifteen females would have been experiencing India’s economic bounce back had the ban been imposed few years back. Metamorphose a famous saying in Hindi and you get something apt for the situation in Goa “Na rahega dupatta, na rahega Dupatta Killer...” Since the police and even his own wife could not stop this serial killer(Mahanand Naik), in this era of deteriorating sex ratio, banning the dupatta is the only way out to save the female human species– preventions is better than cure once again!!!

Change # 36: Make corruption a constitutional duty for all Indians.

We are about to complete 62 years of independence and its high time we give this longest serving inherent public servant, corruption, the status it truly deserves. I am waiting for the day when planning and statistical department would come out with the statistics showing the amount of time wasted due to illegality of corruption. First of all, the Babu would run-around-the-bush trying to convey the message across, as his honesty disallows him to ask the bribe directly. The person across the table would eventually pay the money but not before he tries to escape the process by first acting ignorant about the Babu’s signals, then negotiating the amount and finally morally condemning the practice. If you think enough time has already been wasted, we have our economists who spend hours into research, studying this shadow economy. Worse, even a larger number of people would waste their time in reading and understanding these studies. Then there are Barkha Dutt’s of the society who earn huge bucks by debating corruption but do no good to improve the situation. So in short, the planning and statistics department report will be quite an eye opener. Just imagine the amount of work that could be done if this time was properly utilised. So just make this public servant, corruption, legal. I don’t have to brag about the wealth distribution capabilities of this public servant to bolster my argument. On the question of acceptability, if people can become comfortable with tax and make provisions for it, it won’t be long before people would start making provisions for corruption as well. And finally you don’t even have to bother about how much bribe the Babus will charge; the demand-supply equation will take care of it!!!

Change # 19: Subsidise swimming coaching, making it free would be great.

Survival of the fittest is the rule of evolution. And if we have to compete with the aquatic species for survival, then expertise in swimming would be the utmost necessity. They definitely have an edge over us as they’ve been in the swimming business for generations now. Their swimming genes are getting stronger with every generation due to the learning curve effect.  What? Why compete with aquatic life? Buddy, we may not have to do it, but thanks to Global Warming, when most of the land will be submerged under water, our grandchildren certainly would have to. So lets give them leverage of two generation of swimming genes at least!!!

Change 20: Stop worrying about Global Warming.

Just implement change# 19 and stop worrying about global warming as it is going to solve the issue of land unavailability. But what about those inferior individuals who failed to evolve as expert swimmers and have to live on land? Will they have to face the water issues as we are facing today? The answer is NO! The climatic change is the biggest blessing in disguise. As you know the melting of polar ice caps is going to increase the amount of water on earth. Since the temperature is going to rise in any case, the amount of evaporation is going to increase. This would result in more rainfall. So the amount of fresh water available will increase. Also since the polar caps are going to melt down directly into oceans, its going to reduce their salinity. And since the technology is becoming cheaper day by day, the desalination of such water is going to be even cheaper. Now that you’ll have plenty of fresh water at your disposal, if you are not an expert swimmer, stop worrying about global warming; instead focus on some real issue like “Depleting salaries of management graduates”!!!